


Odd man out

by Winmance



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Abusive Parents, Angst, Bottom Jared, Family Issues, First Love, Hate to Love, Holidays, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mention of abuse, Smart Jared, Top Jensen, cowboy Jensen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-03-13 02:15:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 20,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13560543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winmance/pseuds/Winmance
Summary: Jared life is perfectly planned for a long time now. At 17, he will go to college, far away from his family and he will never, ever come back home again.His perfect plan is changed when his family decides to spend their holidays in a Ranch, own by JD and his son, Jensen.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the really sweet Whispersinthewing who beta this work

This is bullshit,” Jared whispered for the fiftieth time today, arms crossed against his chest. 

“Language,” His mom replied with a smile, which only managed to piss him off even more. 

He could see his father staring angrily at him through the  side mirror but couldn’t care less. They were the only ones to blame. Them and his stupid big brother who proposed a family trip to a ranch. Bonding with the family, enjoying the nature, and all that stupid crap when his only purpose was to prevent Jared from attending the scientist prep class that he signedup for. Eric couldn’t stand the fact that his 17 year old brother was being accepted into every college, while no one wanted him. 

It’s not like Jared didn’t work hard to get here. He spent all his days, weekends, holidays and whatever free time he had studying, trying to be the best. His brother on the other hand, hasn’t opened a single book in the last three years. He deserves this and he won’t let anyone take it away from him. He brought at least ten books and ranch or not, and he planned to read and study every one of them. 

“It looks wonderful. Truly wonderful. There’s horses, a farm, and look at that view! The room looks so cozy too.” 

“Of course it does, mom. It’s the brochure, they’re not gonna put some ugly picture on it.” It took Jared a lot of self-control not to roll his eyes. 

“Jared, you apologize right now, or I swear to god I’ll stop the car and make you apologize myself.” His father’s rough voice made everybody jump in their seat, and Jared could see his mom tensing a little. 

He wished he could tell him to go fuck himself, he will one day, but right now all he can do is apologize like a good little boy and close his mouth for the rest of the trip. 

He took one of his books from his backpack and started reading it. There was still three hours of driving and since no one is talking anymore, it’s the only thing that’s left to do. 

It’s a new book, but nothing he hasn’t read before. It’s about math and science; news and old notions mixed together to give him a headache, but he likes it anyway. He likes to know that he can understand it; that he isn’t wasting his time reading something that he would never be able to use again. This right here is his future, and he needs all the time he can get to reach it. 

When they finally parked the car, it was already late in the night; Melody and his mom are fast asleep, and even Eric is fighting to keep his eyes open. 

It’s so quiet. He can hear the sounds of crickets and their footsteps, but other than that, there’s nothing. No car, no conversation, nothing but them. It makes him feels small and insignificant. 

“You must be Mrs. Padalecki.” There’s a man in front of them, probably around his father’s age, with burn (Do you mean auburn? Or more of a darker color?) hair and a beard. Jared can see a tattoo on his hand, but the light is too weak for him to see what it represents. 

“Yes, and you must be Mr. Morgan.” His father shook the man’s hand, and Jared can see him looking at the tattoo too. 

“You can call me JD, everybody does it here.” He winks at Jared, which is a really strange thing to do and it make him blush before smiling awkwardly. “How was the trip?” 

“Long, but we’re glad to be here. The rest of the family is already sleeping so I’m afraid they won’t be able to meet you tonight.” 

“It’s not a problem. I’ll show you your house and we will talk more tomorrow morning.” He slapped Jared’s dad’s back, which almost sent him to the floor. Jared suppressed a laugh when his father glared at him, but JD smiled to him before starting to walk. 

They went back to the car and drove for another two minutes , until they stopped in front of an old and dilapidated hut. 

“The fuck is that?” His father said, hands clenched around the wheel. 

Before Jared could answer, JD was at their window, keys in hands. 

“So, this is your house. There’s electricity but the heater isn’t working really great. I put extra blankets in the rooms for tonight, and my son will come by during the day to fix it.” He put his hand in his pocket and gave a card to Jared’s dad. “This is my number. If you need something, just call. My house is two minutes away from yours, so I can be here rapidly. I’ll give you a tour of the property tomorrow. Is that ok?” 

“I- Yes, sure, thanks.” 

JD nodded before saying goodbye and walking towards his house. Jared would have loved to say ‘I told you so’, but the defeated look on his father’s face was enough of a satisfaction. Maybe if he was lucky, his parents will change their minds and they would leave the ranch sooner. 

“Jared, wake everyone up. I will start to put our things inside.” 

“Yeah, ok.” 

Jared did as he was told, not without some difficulties. His brother almost punched him in the face when he touched his shoulder, whispering something about him being an asshole afterwards, while his little sister all but refused to wake up. Jared sighed but decided to carry her inside the house. She’s ten now, but she’s still tiny enough for him to hold her in his arms. He doesn’t want to think about the day where he won’t be able to do so. Waking up his mother was way easier, one simple touch on her hand and her eyes are wide open, smiling softly at Jared. He felt bad about earlier. He had no right to talk to her like that. She’s the sweetest person in the entire family, always there for him when he needed her. She didn’t decide to come here; she would probably have loved to stay at their house too. 

“Mom, I’m sorry for yelling at you earlier,” He whispered, still holding Melody close to his chest.

“It’s alright sweetie, already forgotten.” She caressed his cheek and he couldn’t help but lean into the touch. Hugging and touching weren’t things they usually did in their family, which meant that you needed to appreciate every occasion. 

“You were right though, weren’t you?” She looked at the house with a grimace and Jared laughed while readjusting Melody correctly. 

“A little. But the owner seems pretty nice so maybe it won’t be that bad.” 

“I’m sure it will be fine. It’s been a long time since we all went on holiday together. Doesn’t really matter where we are, as long as we’re a family.” She smiled again but there’s something else behind it, something he can’t put his finger on. Before he could ask for explanation, his father was yelling at them to hurry up. Jared rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything. 

The inside of the house was not as bad as Jared thought it would be. There’s a sofa, which looked old and had some suspicious stains on it but no television. The kitchen was pretty simple, and there’s a ~~l~~ arge table in the center of the room. 

There were two bedrooms, one with a queen bed and the other with two twin beds. None of them were aware of that, and they all stood in front of the rooms, looking at their father like he was supposed to pull a bed out of his head. (Suggestion: maybe say ‘pull a bed out of his ass’ if you want a bit of a laugh. It’s definitely an English saying that your readers will understand.)

“One of you will need to sleep on the sofa,” Their father remarked, glancing at his children.

“Jared!” Eric yelled, jumping on one of the beds.

“What? No! It was your idea to come here! And you’re the one who made the reservation. This is your fault.” 

“Enough!” Their father boomed. They both stopped talking immediately, waiting for their father to continue. It took a long time, probably because Mark was debating what he should or shouldn’t say.

“Melody will take one of the beds. Can we all agree on that?” Both boys nodded. Their sister was already in the bed anyway, still deeply sleeping, and there was no way they would wake her up. “Jared you take the sofa.” 

“But dad!” Eric was doing his happy dance and Jared clenched his jaw. This wasn’t fair, this wasn’t fucking fair. “I’m not sleeping on the sofa. Why should I be the one paying for his stupidity?” 

“Because your brother is bigger and taller than you. He can’t fit in the sofa.”

“Yes, he can!” 

“I said you’re sleeping on the couch! Now, everybody goes to sleep.” 

“It’s bullshit,” Jared said, throwing his bag on the couch. 

No one answered him and soon, he was left alone in the living room. For a moment he thought about not sleeping at all, just to show his dad that no, he won’t do as he’s told. But they travelled a very long time and he really, really needed some sleep. 

With a sigh, he pulled his pants off, sliding under the covers in just his boxers and t-shirt. The couch was awful. He could feel every spring pressing against his back, and the smell from it was making him sick. Plus, it was cold. Not just a little cold either. No, this was a deep cold, and he’s actually afraid his fingers might fall off during the night. 

He hates his father. And his stupid brother. The owner of this ranch too, because who in their right mind could let people sleep in these conditions? 

Soon though, this would all be over and he would be living far, far away from his family. It was with that thought that he finally fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think of it !


	2. Chapter 2

Jared woke up when someone -probably Eric- threw a bag on his face. He was about to yell but one look at his father’s face made him change his mind. Apparently, they all suffered from the cold last night. Not as much as him though, and he’s not ashamed to say that he’s glad they felt it too.

They’re already all dressed and there’s dirt on their shoes that wasn’t there the night before. 

“You guys have been somewhere?” Jared asked.

“Daddy took us to see the horses!” Melody said, jumping on the couch next to Jared.

“And none of you thought about waking me up?”

“Like you care about horses,” Eric scoffed, biting into his sandwich.

“Maybe I do. What was the point of taking me on this trip if you just gonna leave me behind?”

“Well, we’re about to visit the farm. Do you want to come with us honey?” His mom asked, dropping a glass of water on the table next to him.

“No, I don’t.”

“Then why are you being such a pain in the ass?” His dad had his arms crossed against his chest, and he looked confused, which only made Jared even angrier.

“Because I… You know what? Forget it. Just go to the farm, I’m staying here.”

His father clenched his jaw but didn’t push things further, knowing that it would only end up with yet another argument, and they had enough of that in the last 24 hours.

Jared watched them walk out the front door. Would it have been that hard for them to wake him up? They probably went to the kitchen and put their shoes on, all of that in front of him without even thinking about waking him up. It’s not that he wanted to see horses; far from it, it’s the way they make him feel like he doesn’t matter. Like the fact that if he’s here or not isn’t affecting their good time in the slightest. He hates it; hates them for making him feel useless and unwanted.

He got up from the couch and went straight to the bathroom. At least now he could have the shower all to himself without anyone waiting for it.

Of course being the last to shower meant that there’s no hot water left. He figured that out after he was under the water, completely naked and already soaking wet. He cursed his family even more as he continued showering with the icy water. He really wished he could go home, to his own shower where there’s more hot water than he could ever use and where he could put his clothes on the chair without being afraid of finding them dirtier than before.

He finished showering, grumbling that he couldn’t relax in the shower like he wanted to. He wrapped the towel around himself and walked back into the living room. If he had known it would be so cold here, he would have brought more sweaters, and less t-shirts.

He tossed the towel in the bathroom; walking around naked in the house while he chose his clothes.

“Wow, it’s that how you greet people around here?”

Jared turned around so fast that he almost fell on the floor. The stranger tried to help him stay on his feet but he brushed him away in embarrassment. His heart was running a thousand miles a minute and he hurriedly moved to take the towel back off of the floor and wrapped himself in it again.

“Who the fuck are you?” He was blushing like crazy, while the other man simply laughed. “This isn’t funny. You can’t just walk into someone’s house like that! Jesus, what’s wrong with you?”

“Calm down city boy. I’m JD’s son; I’m here to fix the heater. Though you look warm enough already.”  The man looked Jared up and down with a smirk on his face, which made Jared’s cheeks go redder. He held the towel so tight that his knuckles were turning white but it was better than being naked in front of a complete stranger. He just wanted this terrible moment to be over, so he can go hide himself under the covers forever. But apparently, the other man wasn’t in a hurry since he was still standing there, looking at Jared with a smirk on his face.

“I’m gonna go get dressed,” He murmured, taking his clothes and walking to the bathroom again, not waiting for a reply.

He dressed rapidly, cursing himself a little more for not remembering that someone was coming to fix the heater. The stranger was already working on the heater when he walked back in the room and for once, Jared was glad to be invisible. There’s no way he would ever be able to look this man in the face again.

He’s not really a man though. Jared was a few years older than him, making the stranger closer to a young adult than anything else. Not to mention the fact he’s drop dead gorgeous. Jared was so caught in his embarrassment that he didn’t really get a good look at him, but now he can see it. Maybe it’s the cowboy style, with the dark hat and the boots, or maybe it’s those shinning green eyes, or his pink luscious lips. It’s certainly not his ass, his round pert ass that Jared has a perfect view of with him bent over like that and Jared isn’t technically staring. If he could just put his hand on it …

“Careful, you’re drooling a little,” The boy tells him without looking up from what he’s doing.

“Wha?” Jared realized that he had been caught staring and blushed furiously. “I – I wasn’t starting, I just – “

“Fell asleep standing up while looking at my ass?”

“No!”

“Calm down city boy, I won’t tell your daddy.” He winked before laughing, shaking his head and murmuring something that Jared can’t hear. At least he’s not taking it badly. But god, he’s annoying.

“I wasn’t staring. And I don’t care if you tell my dad I was.”

“Oh I see, not a big fan of daddy huh?”

“Can’t you just work in silence?”

The man laughed again before getting back to work. If he can fix the damn thing, maybe this awful situation will all be worth it.

Jared realized he still hadn’t eaten when his stomach started to gurgle, and he was pretty sure that the boy was gonna make fun of him for it, but he must’ve thought otherwise because he stays silent. Good.

He headed back to the kitchen and started to make himself a sandwich. Nothing too fancy, just whatever he could find in the refrigerator. He wondered if he should ask the boy if he wants one too. It would be nice, especially since he’s fixing their heater. And maybe he won’t tell anyone about their awkward first meeting.

“Do you want a sandwich?” He sounded like an excited child, which made him wince. He really can’t do anything right, can he?

“Are you gonna poison me or something?”

“Maybe,” He rolled his eyes, starting to make another sandwich. “It wouldn’t be smart though, considering you’re fixing our heater and that you could probably kill my entire family pretty easily.”

It gets him another laugh but this time, he’s not laughing _at_ him and Jared can’t push away the smile that graces his face.

He cleaned his hands off before sitting on the chair in front of Jared.  “I’m Jensen, by the way.”

“Jared.”

Jensen smiled before biting into his sandwich, moaning obscenely in the process, the sound doing things to Jared.  “This is great; I haven’t eaten since four this morning.”

“Why were you up at four in the morning?”

“There are things to take care of. Horses and all that, so tourists like you can come here and have fun.”

“Apparently, you didn’t work on the houses.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Jared can see right away that he said the wrong thing by the way Jensen stopped eating. “It’s just … I mean come on, the heater doesn’t work, the sofa is almost broken and it looks like no one had lived in these houses for decades.”

“Are you always this much of an asshole, or is today a special day?”

“I’m not an asshole for speaking the truth.” Jared defended himself, heat spreading through his cheeks.

Jensen scoffed. “Yeah, you are. Because you can’t talk about people’s work like it’s shit like that. You’re just a little brat who whines every time something isn’t exactly the way you want it to be!”

“You don’t know shit about me!”

“Yeah I do. Maybe you like to think about yourself like some kind of complex and mysterious person, but you’re not. I can see right through you, and let me tell you that it ain’t pretty.”

“Fuck you!”

Jensen just laughed, which only served to make Jared even angrier. He’s not some whining little brat. He’s not an asshole. This place sucks and anyone in their right mind could see that it’s true. Jensen can’t talk to him like that; he doesn’t have any right to do so.

He should have said that to Jensen, instead of telling him to go fuck himself.

So Jared does the only thing he can think of and stalks into the bedroom his brother and sister share, slamming the door in his wake. Again, probably not the most mature thing to do. Not like he cares.


	3. Chapter 3

“- and then we saw a swan with her babies! They were soo cute!” Melody bounced on the sofa, babbling about everything they saw today for the past five minutes. 

It had been like that for the last three days; Melody coming home even more excited than when she left, telling him all about her day and begging him to come with them the next day. Every single time, he could see his brother rolling his eyes and he was pretty sure his father was praying for him to keep saying no. 

It would be fun to say yes just once, and seeing the two men’s faces breaking in front of him. But it would mean actually going with them and there was no way he’d do that. He has too many things to do, too many books to read and too many notions that he still hadn’t studied. Everything would be much simpler if he had a teacher with him; someone to explains things to him. But besides the horses and ducks, there was no one else around who could help him. 

He hadn’t left the house since they got there, not even for the dinner they were having with JD and his family. He had been really scared that Jensen would tell everyone about their meeting, but thankfully Jensen hadn’t said anything. But when JD asks him to try and take Jared out for a tour of the ranch, he finds an excuse for not doing so. At least that’s what Eric said, and Jared was willing to believe him. 

“You plan on doing something this afternoon?” Jared asked, looking up at his mom. The fresh air seemed to actually be doing some good for her, but she looked pretty tired now, and a day at home will do her good. 

“Yes, JD said that we could milk cows today!” Melody replied with a mouth full of food as his mom hurried to clean everything up from breakfast. 

“Maybe you and mom could stay here today, and we could play a game or something. I think there’s an old monopoly in the hall closet.” 

“No, I want to see the cows!” 

Jared loves his sister, he truly does, but the girl was too spoiled for her own good. She got to decide the activities of their days, even when their mom wanted to do something else. He kept telling himself that she’s too young to understand; that she never lived with what his mom and he lived with and still lives with sometimes. He hoped she never would. 

“Mom, could you stay with me though? I need help with some of my work,” Jared wondered.

“Your mom is far too stupid to help you and you know it,” His father grunted from across the room, staring at him with his cup of coffee in his hands. 

“Mom is not stupid!”

“Yes, she is.” 

“She’s still smarter than you!” Jared snapped.

He could see his mother nervously washing the dishes, but he just couldn’t help himself. The words came out of his mouth without him even thinking about it. It wasn’t like it was a lie. His mother had always been smart, and he’s sure that if she read the book, she could help him right away without even hesitating. 

“Marta, do you want to stay or go?” It wasn’t a question and they all knew it. His father’s eyes were glued on him, waiting for a reaction.

“Of course I’ll go with you honey,” His mother replied, wiping her hands dry on a towel by the sink.

Jared clenched his fist, preparing for a fight, but one pleading look from his mother and he knew that he couldn’t say anything without regretting it. 

They’re gone five minutes later, leaving Jared alone once again. 

He doesn’t mind being alone; never been too fond of the crowd and all. But he’s got to admit that he would love to have someone to talk to right now. The words Jensen threw at him the other day were still running in his mind, and he kept wondering if they were true. 

He’s not perfect, he knows that. He can be a real pain in the ass sometimes, but the things Jensen said still hurt him. Which is stupid because he doesn’t know the guy, and Jensen sure as hell doesn’t know him. But maybe it’s true, maybe he really is an ungrateful bitch and that’s why he doesn’t have friends; why even his family doesn’t want to spend time with him. 

He was pulled from his thoughts by someone knocking on the door. JD is standing on the front porch, patiently waiting with a smile. Jared could see who Jensen got his charm from. 

“Hey. You’re Jared, right?” 

“Hi. Yeah that’s me.” 

“Good. I wasn’t sure if Jensen gave me the right name.” 

At the mention of Jensen, Jared cringed. Of course he probably told his dad how Jared critiqued their home. In perspective, maybe critiquing the house in front of the son’s owner wasn’t the best idea. 

“So, can I assume my stupid son did something to you?” 

“What? No, he was nice. Really … respectful.” 

JD chuckled.  “Jensen? Nice and respectful? That hasn’t happened since he was about a year old. After that my sweet little boy became a monster.” JD had a smile on his face, probably remembering some good memories. “So, what did he do?”

“Nothing, I swear. I… I actually was the one who said something really mean. I shouldn’t have. But it’s all on me.” 

JD looked at him for a moment, probably trying to see if he was speaking the truth or just trying to protect Jensen. He seemed happy with what he found and simply nodded, adjusting his hat on his head. 

“Well then, would you come to our ride through the forest tomorrow?” JD asked.

“Sorry, but I’ve got a bunch of things that I need to work on here.” 

“Aren’t you on holiday?” 

“Yeah, but I’m supposed to be taking a two week class, so I need to catch up on what I’m missing.” 

“Going here wasn’t your idea, was it?”

Jared smiled awkwardly, choosing to keep his mouth shut so as not to hurt the man like he hurt his son. 

JD let out a laugh, seeing right through the young man’s attempt.

“It’s alright boy. I understand. First time I came here? God, I told myself I’d rather die than stay.”

“What happened?” 

“Fell in love with the place. Well that and then I met the owner’s daughter. She was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Haven’t left since.” 

Seeing the man talk so openly about love wasn’t something Jared was used to, and he found it kind of nice. He wished he could find a friend like JD, who wasn’t afraid of showing his emotions and didn’t think it made him less of a man. 

“I don’t think anyone would be happy to see me.” Jared’s voice is almost childlike, but he was not ashamed of it. There was something about JD that made it easy to talk to him. 

“I would be and let me tell you that I don’t like people easily,” He smirked, and Jared let out a laugh, trying to hide how comforting the words were. How fucked up was it that some stranger’s words made him feel so good? “So, is it a yes?” 

Jared nodded.  “Yeah, I’ll come.” 

JD clapped Jared on the shoulder.  “Good. Maybe you’ll find love in this place too.” 

Jared highly doubted it but didn’t say anything. He just gave JD another smile before closing the door, finding himself alone once more. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are love ;)


	4. Chapter 4

This was the worst idea he’s ever had. Why in the hell did he even say yes to going? His boots are too tight, the pants his mom made him wear squeeze him in places he’d rather not be squeezed, and the horses are big. Like way too big. He had no idea how he’d be able to mount the beast. 

He was not happy to be there, and no one -except for JD- seemed happy that he was there. His brother kept sending him death glares, and he already tried to make him fall on the way to the stables. His father had tried to make him change his mind, to stay at home where he belonged, but even if Jared wanted to say yes, and god knows he wanted to, he had already promised JD that he was coming. 

Jensen just flat out ignored him. He mumbled a simple hello, refusing to meet his gaze, before turning his attention to greeting the other members of his family with full body hugs. Eric and Jensen kept laughing together, even being joined in by his dad. It was the first time he heard his father laugh in years. 

Sometimes, Jared felt like he’s on the outside looking in. He’s here physically, but it was like no one could see him. He’d talk or make jokes, but no one would answer. Or they would just talk over him. He should be used to it by now, after years of living like this, but it still hurt. It still made him feel like he didn’t really exist; even more so when strangers did it too. Because how awful must he be if even a guy he barely knew hated him? 

“You ever ride a horse before?” JD asked him, putting the saddle on the last horse. 

“No.” 

“I figured as much.” 

Jared wondered what he meant by that, and he only now realized that there was only six horses for the 7 of them. Maybe he was just really lucky and JD forgot about him? Or maybe JD wasn’t coming?

“Jensen, you take Jared with you,” JD announced, startling both boys.

“What?” They said at the same time, looking at JD with pleading eyes. JD gave a hard look to Jensen, ordering him without words not to say anything, but Jared could see the way his jaw clenched, and he hated himself a little more for coming in the first place. 

“Fuck this shit,” Jensen mumbled, getting up on his horse. 

Jared’s family followed, mounting the animals like it was the easiest thing in the world. They had already done it the previous days, and it seemed like they had already gotten used to it. 

“Are you coming or what?” Jensen scowled, looking angrier by the second. 

“I – Yeah, sure” 

Ridicule doesn’t kill, which Jared is thankful for, otherwise he would’ve died on the spot. But really, how was he supposed to know how to get on a horse? The thing was huge! He tried to get his bearings as he attempted to hoist himself into the saddle, to be as graceful as Jensen had been, but it was a lost cause and he ended up right on his ass in front of everyone. 

He could feel his face becoming red, winching as everyone made fun of his folly. It was funny how they couldn’t seem to laugh with him but gladly laughed about him.

He won’t stand for this all day. 

He got to his feet, ready to turn tail and leave for the house, but then Jensen held his hand out, offering some help. He still looked angry, but Jared decided to take it as an offer of peace. 

It was much easier once he got Jensen’s help, but it got even more awkward once he was on the horse. Jensen was in front of him, his back flush against his chest, and Jared had no idea where he was supposed to put his hands. He should probably put his hands on Jensen’s waist, but he didn’t want to do the wrong thing or have Jensen get the wrong idea. And he could feel his father’s stare on him, knowing that his every action would be analyzed. 

“I’m not helping you if you fall,” Jensen said, nudging the horse to start moving.

“What?” Jared replied, caught off guard by Jensen suddenly speaking.

“If you don’t hold on, you’re going to fall off and I’m not helping you up again.” 

“Where should I … where should I hold?” 

Jensen sighed, murmuring something that Jared doesn’t understand. Maybe it was better if he didn’t. He grabbed Jared’s hands and put them around him, ignoring the way Jared held his breath. 

They started to move again, JD at the head and the others following close behind. Jared does his best to ignore the feeling of having Jensen pressed so firmly against him. From where he was, he could smell him, a strong and addicting perfume. It wasn’t sweet or anything; it probably wasn’t even a real perfume, but more like a natural scent. It was a mix of animals, hard work, beer and other things he couldn’t put his finger on that make Jared feel dizzy. He was close enough to put his nose on Jensen’s neck to smell it better. Jared hated to admit it but JD was right, this place was wonderful. 

It felt like he was in a painting with flowers, trees, the sun shining down on them and even a glimmering lake. It felt too good to be true that Jared was waiting for animals to come bounding out of the forest singing. 

“It’s beautiful,” He said to no one in particular.

“I though it was seedy,” Jensen replied, glancing over his shoulder.

“I never say that!” Jared defended himself, but Jensen only rolled his eyes. “You know what? You might think I’m a little brat, but you’re no better than I am. You’re patronizing, rude and mean. I was just being honest, and you treat me like shit!” 

“Jared!” His dad’s loud voice made everybody stop, including JD. 

Before he could register what exactly was happening, Jared was dragged off the horse, nearly falling to his knees. 

“Who do you think you are, talking like that?!” His dad held him by the collar of his shirt, almost lifting him off the ground. 

“It’s alright, Mr. Padalecki. That was my fault,” Jensen said, placing a hand on Jared’s dad’s shoulder. “He was only speaking the truth. That’s good, we’re good, I swear.” 

Jared was shaking, his whole body reacting to his father’s touch. He knew what came next, could already feel the pain. His mother was looking at the floor and he had no doubts that there was shame in her eyes. 

His dad put him down; shooting him a cold, hard look before walking to his horse like nothing happened. Jared couldn’t look at anything except his dad, afraid that he might change his mind and finish what he had just started. 

“You’re good?” Jensen whispered, worry filling his eyes.

Jared nodded, incapable of talking. He hated being so weak, hated being so afraid. Just a few more months and he’ll be away from this, away from him. 

“Hey dad, maybe I could show Jared around the forest? I heard he’s into that kind of stuff.” Jensen suggested, hoping to diffuse the tense situation.

“Sure, we’ll be close to the Campbell’s cabin. Come back once you’re done.” With that, they started walking again. In other circumstances, Jared would be pissed that no one asked what he wanted, but right now, he was grateful. 

“Why don’t you sit down for a moment?” 

It was then that  he realized that he’s still shaking, and he let himself fall to the ground. Jensen helped him to sit himself upright correctly. 

They didn’t talk for a long time, just sat there next to each other, the horse waiting patiently in front of them. Jensen played with the grass, as Jared tried to calm down and clear his head.

He couldn’t believe Jensen defended him like that. So many times people watched him get insulted, or hit or humiliated and never did a single thing to stop it. But Jensen did. He was pretty sure that JD would have said something too, but this was different. Because Jared had been fighting with Jensen, and there was no reason for Jensen to defend him. There was no reason to protect him. 

“Thank you,” He whispered after a long moment, ignoring the tears dripping down his face. 

“No problem, city boy.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't use a beta for this chapter, so I hope you still can understand it,


	5. Chapter 5

“I meant to ask you, how did you know I love science?” Jared asked as they walked through the forest, doing his best not to fall flat on his face again.

“I saw all your books when I was over at your place.” 

“Oh.” 

“Yep, I saw a lot of things that day, didn’t I?” Jensen winked before laughing when he saw Jared blushing. 

“Shut up,” Jared pushed him, trying to make him fall on the ground but failing miserably. 

Jensen grabbed his arm and soon both of them were rolling on the grass, laughing so hard that it hurt. Jensen tickled him until he started crying, and Jared chose that exact moment to reverse their roles. 

“Stop, you win! You win!” Jensen yelled between laughs. 

Jared laid next to him, smiling and laughing at the same time. 

“Shit, I didn’t think you’d play along. I bet that’s the first time you’ve ever rolled in the grass with another person.” 

Jared nodded.  “Yeah, but only because there’s no grass in the city; everybody knows that.” 

This gets him another laugh from Jensen, who rolled himself over so he was in a semi-sitting position. 

“Last year, we had a couple with a child that didn’t know what nettles were. So they like go in the forest and do their little walk, and then they come back crying and screaming saying that they’re gonna die. I swear I never saw my dad laugh that much before.” 

They both burst into laughter again, Jensen placing his hand on his stomach as he tried to catch his breath.

It was so good to laugh like that. That hadn’t happened in a long time and Jared was enjoying every minute of it. 

“Should we head back now? Your dad’s gonna think I killed you or something.” 

“Nah, don’t worry. He knows that we’re safe,” Jensen said, putting his hands behind his head. He was trying to look relaxed but Jared could see how nervous he really was. “I’m sorry for … well; it’s my fault that your dad was angry.” 

“No, it’s not. He’s always angry; he just used you as an excuse.” 

“Still. I didn’t know that he was like that.” 

Jared didn’t reply, he just put his arms around his legs and started tearing out chunks of the grass. He shouldn’t have come with them today. He should have stayed at home; their real home. Who would have missed him anyway? 

“You know he shouldn’t do that, right?”

Jared lifted his head, frowning.

“Your dad; he doesn’t have the right to hit you. Not you, your siblings or your mother. It’s not right and he’s not allowed to do that. No one is allowed to hurt you.” 

“I know.” 

“If you want to file a report, I can take you to the police station and I’ll testify against him.” 

Jensen looked completely sincere, but Jared knew it wasn’t that easy. First of all, his dad didn’t actually hit him, not this time anyway. Secondly, no one would believe him. He already tried to go to the police, when he was younger and his mom was in the hospital. The nurses believed him, or so he thought, but nothing happened and he was told not to tell lies again. His dad was even angrier after that. 

“No, it’s fine, thanks.” 

“Are you sure? Because we can help, I swear.” 

“I said it’s fine! I don’t need help!” 

Jensen wasn’t looking at him with anger or pity like he expected him too, but with something that looked a lot like sadness. 

“I’m sorry, I just wanted to help.” 

Jared felt a knot forming in his stomach. Why did he have to be like this? Jensen was being nice to him and here he was, treating him like shit. It wasn’t fair. For either of them. 

“My mom she … always had poor taste in men. They spanked her, pulled her hair, hit her. All the time I just stood there, watching but not able to do a thing. All I did was hide under the table. I just, I don’t want this for you … or for anyone.” There were tears in Jensen’s eyes and Jared bit his lip, not sure of what to do. It was obviously something very intimate for Jensen, and he didn’t want to ask something that would hurt him. 

“But JD is your dad, isn’t he?” 

Jensen shook his head. “No. I mean, he adopted me when I was eleven and I love him like my dad. He is my dad. But biologically, he isn’t. I don’t know who my biological dad is. Don’t want to know anyway. JD met my mom when I was two and took care of me immediately, treating me like his own blood. He always loved us, from the beginning. But my mom thought he was too good for her, so she refused his advances for a long time.”

“And then?” 

“Then one of her boyfriends hit her too hard and she ended up at the hospital. She and JD started dating after that.” 

“He seems like a nice guy.” 

“Yeah, he is. She was lucky to have him. And he was lucky to have her too.” 

Jared didn’t ask why Jensen used ‘was’ when he talked about his mom. He could figure out the reason on his own, and Jensen had already shared a lot with him, probably more than a lot of people would. 

Without thinking about it, he put his hand between Jensen’s, offering some comfort to the both of them. 

“My dad he … he’s just angry all the time. My mom never tried to leave, and I … I can’t understand why. I know that there’s a reason, but how can you spend so many years with someone when they treat you like that?” 

“She’s afraid, Jared. She’s afraid for herself and for you, too. Earlier? You barely said anything, and your dad got so angry. Can you imagine if she tried to leave?” 

“I know but …” Jared sighed, trying to find the right thing to say. “I’m leaving for college soon, and I feel so guilty because I’m leaving her behind.” 

Jensen stayed silent for a moment before putting his arms around Jared, pulling him toward his chest. 

It was the first hug Jared had gotten in a long time and he couldn’t help but hold on to Jensen, trying to get as much affection from the man as he could. 

“Don’t feel guilty for living your life. Maybe one day you’ll be able to help her, but you can’t if you’re still scared.” 

Jared couldn’t help but close his eyes, enjoying the words that he needed to hear but that no one had ever told him. 


	6. Chapter 6

Jared had been in the bathroom for half an hour, trying to decide what he wanted to wear.

Should he wear the black pant, with the blue shirt? His mom always said it brought out his eyes. Or maybe he should put on his blue jeans and wear the white shirt? But wearing a white shirt to go for a walk in the forest probably was not the best choice. 

So black pants and blue shirt it is. 

He was ready when Jensen knocked at the door. One last look in the mirror and he was ready to go. He wouldn’t say that he looked amazing like that, but he looked pretty decent and that was really all that mattered. It wasn’t like it was a date or anything, just a nice afternoon together. Nothing to worry about. 

“Hey,” Jensen said, cowboy hat firmly in place on his head like always. “You ready to go?” 

Of course, Jensen looked absolutely gorgeous. It wasn’t even about the clothes; Jared couldn’t tell you what he was wearing because his face was just so beautiful it distracted him from everything else. 

“Yep, all ready.” 

Jensen smiled before walking towards his horse, giving Jared the opportunity to look at that ass, which may be even more beautiful than his face. 

It had been five days since the family ride they’d had, and they had been seeing each other every day. Jared’s family wasn’t aware of it; they didn’t really talk to him after that incident. His father was still angry; accusing Jared of humiliating him in front of everyone, while his mom was quiet as usual. It may have been awful for him to say, but he didn’t care. For the first time he had a true friend; someone he could talk and laugh with without being judged. 

They didn’t bring up the event of that day again, nor did they talk about Jensen’s mom. If one of them wanted to, the other would probably listen but that was it. 

“Since I’m such an amazing friend, I stole one of my grandma’s pies before I left the house,” Jensen remarked with a toothy grin.

“That isn’t something you should be proud of,” Jared said, holding on Jensen’s hips as they set off into the forest at an easy pace.

“So you’re not gonna eat it with me?” 

“That depends, what flavor it is?” 

“Strawberry, I think.” 

Jared could already taste it in his mouth, and there was no way he could say no to that. Not that he was even going to attempt to say no. 

“Don’t droll on my shirt please,” Jensen teased.

“Oh shut up. You would love it if I drooled on you.” Jared replied.

Jensen threw his head back, giving Jared the perfect view of his throat. Oh what Jared would give to be able to kiss that throat. He was developing quite a big crush on Jensen, even if he wouldn’t admit it. It wasn’t the first time he had a crush on a boy; he made peace with being gay a long time ago. He didn’t have some big realization like some people had. He didn’t question himself over and over. He always knew it, even before he knew what gay meant. 

He never had a boyfriend though, mostly because he didn’t have time. Or so he always told himself. 

But with Jensen it was different. It was like time stopped; like nothing else mattered. From his studies to his family, everything just disappeared when it was just the two of them. 

For that exact reason, he wouldn’t try anything with Jensen . They didn’t have much time to spend together before Jared had to leave for home, and starting a relationship would just make leaving that much harder. He would rather spend quality time with a good friend then have his heart broken by leaving a lover. 

“We should let Butterfly rest here and walk a little. Can’t get your delicate ass sore, now can we?” Jensen announced as they approached a small creek.

“Butterfly?” Jared repeated, ignoring the comment about his ass. “You named your horse butterfly? You?” 

“I was four!” Jensen blushed bright red, which only caused Jared to laugh harder.

After being doubled over laughing for nearly five minutes, they finally started walking. 

Jared quickly discovered that this forest was nothing like the one he was used to. While it was usually easy to navigate, with a set path, this one was full of low hanging  tree branches, roots and rocks. 

They had only started walking ten minutes ago and Jared already almost fell at least four times, much to Jensen’s amusement. 

“Go ahead, make fun of me. We’ll see if you’re still laughing when you have to carry my dead body back to the horse.” 

“Carry your dead body? No way. I’ll leave you here, so the wolves can eat you.” 

Jared stopped, letting Jensen walk in front of him. “Wolves? There are wolves out here?” 

“Of course there are wolves out here princess. What, you thought wolves were imaginary creatures?”

“No” Jared said rolling his eyes. “But I didn’t know they could like, walk around here freely. Isn’t it dangerous to leave the horse alone?” 

“Nah, don’t worry. They only come out at night, and we’re not that far away, so it’s no problem.” 

“Don’t you find it … scary?” 

“What? Wolves?”

Jared nodded, looking at Jensen instead of the ground, which caused him to almost fall again.

“No, not anymore. The first time, I was so scared. I was five I think, and our sheep were dying so we stayed up one night to catch the wolves. When I saw them it was just so …. It’s hard to put into words. They’re glorious. There’s no other word. I know I’m not supposed to like them, because they’re killing our animals, but they’re so beautiful, so magnificent. They’re not doing anything wrong you know? Just trying to survive, like we all do. Do you know that when wolves fall in love, they never stop loving each other? We always say that wolves and other wild animals aren’t smart or don’t have feelings. But I don’t believe that. I think they are just as capable as we are; maybe even more.” 

Jensen sounded so sincere, and Jared couldn’t help but smile, feeling his heart fill with joy and admiration. God, why did Jensen have to be so perfect? 

“I just made a fool of myself, didn’t I?” 

“What? No! Not at all. I love listening to you,” Jared admitted. “You don’t have to be ashamed of loving something.” 

Jensen answered with a smile before shoving Jared with his shoulder. 

“And you? What’s the thing you love?” 

Jared hesitated for a moment, biting his lips. Generally, when he started talking about math or stars, he was shut down or laughed at. He didn’t think Jensen would laugh at him, but who knew? 

“Stars, I love stars. It feels like it’s right here. You lift your head and you’re looking right at it. It’s shining and beautiful and makes you feel so small. But it’s not here. It’s far away from here. You think it’s close to you but you’re wrong. You don’t really see it, not how it really is. It’s beautiful, but it’s dying. The stars that you see today won’t be here tomorrow. They hold so many secrets; so many things you can’t see and can’t even imagine. I just, I really like it.” Jared’s face was burning from embarrassment. He didn’t mean to go on such a monologue, but it was hard to explain why he loved stars so much without talking too much. 

Jensen didn’t seem to mind, not by the way he was looking at Jared with soft, sweet eyes. 

“I think I love listening to you,” Jensen said with a wink and a smile. 

“Good thing we’ve got the whole day together then.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry for the wait. I wrote this chapter severals weeks ago, but I just don't like it. I post it anyway because the story needs to move, but I may change it later. It won't make a big difference with the others chapters anyway.  
> Thanks for all the comments ! It's a true motivation  
> Also, my beta is working on the fic right now, so it'll soon be better ;)


	7. Chapter 7

“Ok, here’s one for you. What’s the number for pi?” 

“Really? You think I don’t know that?” Jared said, faking offense. “I’ll have you know it’s 3.14159265–“ 

“Alright, stop! I believe you!” Jensen begged, putting his hand over Jared’s mouth. “Jesus, I’m not asking you that ever again.” 

Jared thought about it for all of two seconds before licking Jensen’s palm. He never did something so childish, and for a moment he was afraid Jensen would be mad. He cursed himself for doing it. Why did he have to be so stupid sometimes? 

But instead of getting angry, Jensen just laughed; actually laughed. He laughed so much that he started to cry before throwing himself to the floor, holding his stomach. Jared was frozen for a moment, still embarrassed by what he had done, but it quickly went away and soon, he was joining Jensen on the ground, laughing until he too had tears in his eyes. 

“So tell me Jared, do you lick people’s hands often?” 

“Only those who put their hands over my mouth.”

“Well then, I think I’ll keep my hands to myself now.” Jensen smirked before digging into the pie again. 

It was nearly 8 pm, the sun already down and they should have gone home a long time ago but neither of them felt like it. Instead they chose to stay there, in the middle of the forest close to the lake, where nothing existed outside of the two of them and where nothing else mattered. Maybe the place itself didn’t matter either. They were there, but they could be on surfboards, in the desert, or even on the middle of the road and it won’t change anything. For Jared, it was the person you were with that made you feel the place, made you really see it. With Jensen, it’s full of beauty and laughter. Everything was shining and even the stars were a little less impressive. 

“Do you ever wish you could tame a wolf?” 

“What for?” Jensen asked, eyes glued to the sky. They were lying side by side on the grass. 

“I don’t know. Just … so you could have one.” 

“Taming isn’t about owning something. I think it’s about bounding with someone. It’s allowing someone into your heart, into your soul. It’s giving the power to destroy you to another being, hoping you won’t get hurt. I think taming and loving are really similar, somehow. But not in the way most people think. It’s not about domination; it’s about doing the right thing for the other. It’s letting the other love you and loving them back. And love it’s—It’s dangerous. I wouldn’t tame a wolf because what would be the point? I would get tired of it one day, because humans always do, and then it’d be a tame wolf without anyone to love it. I would much rather have him wild and happy, than tame and broken.” 

“But maybe you wouldn’t get tired of it. Maybe you’d love it, forever.” 

“You can’t know those kinds of things Jay.” Jensen was looking at him with a sad smile on his face. 

“I don’t like not knowing,” Jared whispered, barely audible. “I need to have everything planned. I’ve been working on my plan for the future since I don’t even remember. Every day I make a list of what I need to do, and it keeps me going.” He took a big breath, turning his attention back at the stars. “So do you think we shouldn’t be looking for love? If it means being tame, if you can’t predict it, what’s the point?” 

“Living is the point. I said love is dangerous, but you don’t have to fear what’s dangerous. Otherwise, you’d never truly live. Sometimes, being hurt is good too. It means you’re living.” 

Jared didn’t answer, focusing instead on himself. In a few days, they’d be out of the ranch, and he’d never see Jensen again. How could he love someone knowing that it’s only for a few days? It all felt so unreal. Here he was in the middle of nowhere, and he was afraid of going back home and never feeling like this again. 

But what was the point of being alive if you didn’t really live? 

Slowly, he moved until his head was resting on Jensen’s chest. For a few seconds, Jensen didn’t move and Jared panicked, thinking he read the signals wrong. Maybe Jensen wasn’t gay or maybe he wasn’t interested in him, and he had just fucked up their friendship. But then Jensen moved his arms so he was hugging Jared tight, before dropping a kiss on the top of his head. 

“This wasn’t in my plan,” Jared admitted, biting his lips. “It scares me.”

“You don’t have to think about the future all the time Jay. What matters is right now. You can’t know what will happen in the future. Maybe we’ll get hurt in the end. But it’s ok. Because we’re allowing ourselves to live. When you’re old and gray, this will only be a distant memory.” 

“You think we’ll forget each other?” 

“No. There’s nothing as horrible as forgetting a good memory. They’re so rare, so precious. But they fade away a little, and that’s ok. There are other memories, brighter ones that replace them.” 

Jared tried to move himself closer to Jensen, moving his head until he was practically hiding in Jensen’s neck. He felt good, so good. For the first time, Jared felt protected; like nothing could happen to him. It was taking all the courage he had to put his self-doubt away before straightening enough so his face was in front of Jensen’s. 

“Kiss me?” He murmured softly, swallowing hard.

Jensen smiled and all of Jared’s doubts flew out the window. Two days ago, he would never have had the nerves to ask that, but now he was feeling like he was capable of anything. 

“Close your eyes,” Jensen whispered, moving one of his hands to brush through Jared’s hair. 

Jared did as he was told, his stomach shivering with excitement. Slowly, Jensen put his lips on top of his, and started to kiss him. 

It was sweet and soft and everything Jared ever wanted. He didn’t know what to do at first, but once he figured it out, he started kissing Jensen back until the sweet kiss turned into a passionate one. 

Jensen moved them both so he was on top of Jared, giving himself more room to kiss him properly. 

Jared spread his legs and he could feel Jensen’s hard dick against his. It was intoxicating, being so close to someone and having such power over them. 

He threw his head back, allowing Jensen to kiss his throat, sucking on his skin and marking him. His dad would kill him and his mom wouldn’t look at him, but he didn’t care. He wanted to be owned by Jensen, even if it was just for a couple of days. And he wanted to own Jensen back too. 

“We should head back. It’s starting to get really dark,” Jensen said, still kissing Jared’s throat.

“I want to stay here, please” The words were hard to get out, Jared’s brain being incapable of forming complete sentences with Jensen’s mouth on him like that. 

“Me too,” Jensen admitted before kissing Jared on the lips again. “But we can see each other tomorrow, alright?” 

“Promise?” 

“Promise.” 

Jared smiled before letting Jensen help him get to his feet. Butterfly trotted up next to them, waiting patiently. 

It was o nly once they were on the horse did Jared realize how tired he was. It had been an exhausting day, but it was a good exhaustion. He let himself lean on Jensen’s back while the horse took them home. 

Jared woke up half an hour later on the sofa of his house, with Jensen nowhere in sight. He sighed and stripped his clothes off, wondering for a moment if it had all been just a dream. If it was, then he was more than ready to go back to sleep. 

He was happy. So happy. So drunk on love, hope and happiness. 

For the first time in years, he didn’t follow his to do list of the day, or not entirely. He wasn’t ashamed to admit that it felt nice, being so free. 

When he glanced at the next page of his calendar with his to do list, he was surprised to see that someone had already written on it. 

In big, black letters, Jensen’s handwriting wrote “LIVING”. Jared couldn’t help the smile that graced his face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at that, the fic is completly beta ! no more mistakes or weird sentences !   
> Sorry for the waiting guys, but I wanted the fic to be clean before posting another chapter ;)   
> Tell me what you think of it !


	8. Chapter 8

Jared woke up around ten, feeling lighter than he felt in years. He couldn’t help but smile stupidly when he thought of the day before, how happy he felt with Jensen next to him. 

It all seemed so surreal. How could a guy like Jensen be interested in someone like him? Jensen was smart, interesting and beautiful. So beautiful. Jared could watch him ride his horse all day long. 

“Where have you been?” 

Jared jumped when he heard his father’s voice, realizing that his dad was sitting at the table, a cup of coffee in his hand. 

“What?” Jared replied, sitting up on the couch. 

“Yesterday. You were gone all day. Where were you?” 

“Oh, Jensen took me on a hike so I could take a look at the trees and we ended up staying a little longer than we meant to.” Jared’s heart was beating so fast he was afraid it would jump right out of his chest.

“I know what you’re doing,” his father remarked gruffly.

“What am I doing?” 

“You’re falling for this boy. It’s dumb. He’s not a freak like you, he won’t love you back and you know it”

“That’s none of your business,” Jared replied, biting the inside of his cheek with anger. 

“Yes, it is. Because if you make a fool of yourself, it’s our entire family’s reputation that will pay for it.” 

“You’re afraid that I’ll bring shame on your family?” Jared laughed, getting up. “You’re the one who almost hit me in front of them. If anyone is a fool, it sure as hell’s not me.” 

His dad got up too, walking towards Jared and grabbing him by the arm. All the confidence Jared had felt a minute ago vanished; fear taking its place. Why did he do that? Why couldn’t he just close his mouth? 

“You stop that right now, or I’ll make you stop. You hear me?” 

“Yes,” Jared said though gritted teeth.

“Yes who?” He tightened his grip on Jared’s arm.

“Yes sir.” 

“Good.” His father let go of him, walking away like nothing happened. 

Jared was once again left shaking. But this time, it wasn’t because of fear but because of anger. He wouldn’t let his father win, not this time. 

Once he was standing in front of Jensen’s house, Jared realized that maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. There was no guarantee that Jensen would be happy to see him there, especially when Jared didn’t even call before. But it was too late to go back home now. 

It was with a feeling of embarrassment that he prepared himself to knock on the door, only to stop when the door opened, revealing a smiling Jensen. 

“Hey there,” Jensen said. “I thought I seen you coming from the window.” 

“Oh,” Jared blushed, passing his fingers nervously through his hair “Yeah I, I wanted to see you and I don’t have your number so I couldn’t call before.” 

“No problem, I’m happy to see you.” He moved aside so Jared could walk in. As soon as he was inside, Jensen’s arms were around him and he was kissing him. Jared smiled before throwing his arms around Jensen’s neck, enjoying the closeness. 

“Jensen, your room is upstairs.” JD remarked as he entered the room.

Jared pushed himself away from Jensen immediately, ready to apologize or find an excuse. But JD was smiling, and so was Jensen. 

“Hey Jared, how are you?” 

“I – I’m fine sir, thanks.” 

JD gave him another smile before putting his hat on. “Alright boys, I need to go to the farms. You be good.” 

“Of course dad,” Jensen answered, rolling his eyes. He got one hand on Jared’s back, caressing him slowly. Jared was torn between incomprehension and embarrassment, but he couldn’t help enjoying Jensen’s touch. 

“Don’t give me an attitude because your boyfriend is here or I’m telling him some embarrassing stories about you, little Jenny.” 

Jared cracked up laughing when he saw Jensen mortified face and he was quickly joined by JD. Jensen and his dad seemed really close; no hard edge behind their words, and Jared wished not for the first time that he could have that kind of relationship with his dad. 

After Jensen apologized and promised to do the laundry, they were finally left alone. 

“Sorry about that,” Jensen said sheepishly, cheeks still a little pink.

“No, it’s ok. I like your dad. He’s really nice.” 

“Yeah, he is. But he can be a pain in the ass too so don’t let him fool you.” Jensen winked before taking Jared’s hand. “So, wanna take a tour?” 

“Sure.”

Jensen’s house wasn’t as cold as Jared thought it would be. There are pictures and souvenirs everywhere; some of Jensen when he was younger, some of JD and a woman that Jared guessed was Jensen’s mom. In all the pictures, they’re smiling and laughing. They look genuinely happy.

There were only two rooms, one for each of them. Jensen’s room was exactly how he imagined it. There were clothes on every available surface, dirty boots on the floor and even food on the desk. 

“I would have cleaned up if I had known you were coming.” He defended, trying to clean as best as he could. 

“It’s fine, don’t worry. I see it’s just the way you live,” He made a fake disgusted face, which earned him a t-shirt to the face. 

Once the bed was cleaner, Jensen jumped on it, lying in the middle. “Man, this is the first time I’ve seen my bed in months.” 

“Think you can share it with me or you need a private moment to yourself?” Jared asked, walking closer.

Jensen pretended to think about it for a moment before moving on his side, making room for Jared to join him. 

“You can come, but you should know that everything that ends up in my bed stays in it for at least three months.” 

Jared laughed before taking his shoes off and sliding in the bed next to Jensen. 

“So, miss me much?” Jensen said, wrapping Jared up in his arms.

“Yeah I did. I mean, not that much but you know I was kind of bored.” 

“Well it’s a good thing I’m here to entertain you,” Jensen whispered against Jared’s mouth before kissing him. 

Jared answered the kiss and soon they were both panting, Jared’s whole body covering Jensen’s. He felt Jensen slide his hands until they were on his ass and gave it a squeeze. Jared moaned in Jensen’s mouth, pressing his body closer they could grind their crotches against each other. 

The make out session came to a stop  when Jared’s stomach gurgled, and he hid his face in Jensen’s neck. 

“Is someone hungry?” 

“No,” He lied, trailing kisses across Jensen’s neck. “I wanna stay here.”

“I can’t let you die in my bed from starvation,” Jensen said, shoving Jared away from him. “Come on city boy, we’re gonna put some food in that belly.” 

Jared sighed, letting Jensen take his hand and pull him out of the bed. 

It took them  five minutes to go to the kitchen because neither of them could keep their hands to themselves, and they kept alternating between kisses and hugs, much to Jared’s liking. 

“Is a burger good?” Jensen asked with his head in the fridge, giving Jared another perfect view of his ass. 

“Yeah, it’s perfect.” 

Jensen took all the ingredients out of the fridge and started cooking while Jared sat at the bar, watching him. 

He could get used to this; Jensen cooking for him while he stood there and stared at him. The more he spent time with Jensen, the less his plans about college stayed in the forefront of his mind. 

“So your dad knows that you’re gay?” Jared asked, taking the burger Jensen made for him. 

“Well I’m bi actually, but he knows. We’re close so I tell him everything. He took it pretty well, but I think he was afraid I would make bad guy choices like my mom used to. I’m a big guy but he’s overprotective. Not that I don’t like it, though. It’s nice to know someone is protecting you, even if you don’t need it.”

“Have you had a boyfriend before? I mean, before me. Not that I’m your boyfriend. Or I- I don’t know.” 

Jensen laughed, taking a huge bite of his own burger. “I’ve never had a proper boyfriend. People who are coming here are either families or old dudes. Not really my thing. So I just you know, have fun when I can.” 

Jared smiled politely but he could feel a knot in his stomach. Here he was, thinking about having a future with Jensen and getting ready to say goodbye to his dreams, while Jensen was just having fun with him. God, his father was right. 

“Hey,” Jensen said, tucking a strand of Jared’s hair behind his ear. “You know what that means?” 

“No?” 

“That means you’re my first boyfriend.” He winked before setting himself between Jared’s legs 

Jared sighed in relief, feeling his chest relax. He set his plate aside and threw his arms around Jensen’s neck. 

“You’re my first boyfriend too,” He admitted, even if he was sure that Jensen already knew that.

“Do your parents know?” 

“That I’m gay? Yeah, they know. They found a bunch of gay porn under my bed. One day, my brother found them and told my dad.” Jared grimaced, thinking about that day. “He didn’t take it that well. I think that it’s part of the reason why he hates me so much. Before that he was violent with all of us. But now it’s only me and my mom.” 

“You know that it’s not bad to be gay right?” 

“Yeah I know that; my dad is a dick.” 

“You said it,” Jensen said, lifting his hands in the air. “Do they know about us?” 

“It only happened yesterday so no. Well, my dad suspects something. He was pretty angry this morning, but it’s only suspicion. By the way, how come your dad already knows about us?” 

“Oh…” Jensen turned around so he wasn’t facing Jared anymore, putting the plates in the sink. “I may have told him yesterday. He wasn’t sleeping when I got home and I have this tendency to always talk.” 

“That’s cute,” Jared said, wrapping his arms around Jensen’s waist. 

“Cute? Really? What am I? A teenage girl?” 

“I mean, you do kinda sound like one so …” 

The n ext thing Jared knew he was thrown over Jensen’s shoulder, head down and begging Jensen to put him down between peals of laughter. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry this one is a little late but it's for a great cause: I finish writing this story ! So now, I just need my beta to look at it and I think I'll post two chapters per week instead of one ;)   
> Tell me what you think of it !


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning : Fingering in this chapter. In public.  
> Enjoy !

It was just past two when Jensen knocked on Jared’s door.

They had been seeing each other every day since they got together almost one week ago now, and Jared even slept at Jensen’s house once, enjoying the fact that his family had chosen to stay at a hotel after visiting a village a ways away from the ranch.

They agreed to see each other today, but Jared’s family was getting ready for their trip back to the village and Jared had been ordered to go with them.

“Hello Mrs. Padalecki. Is Jared here?” Jensen asked, giving her his most charming smile.

“Of course, Jensen. But we were just getting ready to leave.”

“Oh” Jensen said in disappointment. “Is he going with you?”

“Yes,” She paused before flashing him a bright smile. “but you could come with us if you want.”

“I’d really like that, ma’am.”

“Amazing. Come on inside.” She moved to the side so he could walk in the house, which he does gladly.

As soon as he saw him, Jared couldn’t help but smile.

“God, you’re so weird,” Eric muttered, shoving past him.

Jared ignored him, walking until he was in front of Jensen. God, he looked even more beautiful than yesterday.

“Hi.”

“Hey,” Jensen replied, smiling stupidly. His eyes automatically dropped to Jared’s lips and he licked his own, fighting against the urge to kiss him.

“I know we had plans today but my dad wants me to go with them. Maybe I could see you tonight?”

“You won’t have to wait that long. Your mom invited me on your family outing.”

“Really?” Jared’s eyes shone with excitement. With Jensen coming, the trip would be way more interesting.

“You’re coming with us?” Jared’s dad asked, shaking Jensen’s hand and ignoring his son.

“Yes sir, your wife invited me. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Oh that’s great; you must know the village quite well.”

“Like the back of my hand, sir.” Jensen replied proudly

They walked to the car, Jared and Jensen making sure to sit next to each other in the back of the car. They were all packed tight in a car designed for only five people, but they didn’t really care. In fact, Jensen took advantage of this closeness to slide his hand into the back of Jared’s pants, which made him jump in surprise.

Jensen flashed him a cheeky smile before moving his hand so it was positioned directly on his ass. Jared swallowed hard, his breathing already becoming ragged.

They still hadn’t actually had sex, much to Jared’s annoyance, but they were slowly getting there. Well, dating someone for a week probably wasn’t enough time to think about sex, but their time together was what counted and he really wished they could just move faster. For now they would have to make do with handjobs, one blowjob from Jensen, and much to Jared’s pleasure, fingering. He also may have let slip that he had a kink for public sex, which would explain why Jensen’s fingers were moving down between his cheeks.

“So Jensen, what do you think we should see first?” Jared’s mom asked, looking at her map of the area.

“Well it depends. We could take a walk to the market; they have a lot of stores that are pretty interesting. Then there’s a festival not far away. I was actually going to tell you about it, because it only happens one week a year and it’s the big attraction.” He moved so one of his fingers slid between Jared’s cheeks and started pressing against his hole. “There’s a big wheel, a mirror house, and all sorts of food. It’s really nice.”

Next to him Jared was painfully hard, trying to move discreetly so Jensen’s finger could go further, deeper, while at the same time applying some pressure to his erection. He could feel his whole face flushing with want and shame of doing it in front of his family. If he was being honest, the fact that anyone could see him was even more exciting. His dad was right, he was such a freak. Good thing Jensen was one too.

“Jared, are you alright dear?” His mom asked, looking concerned.

“Y-Yeah. It’s just … really hot back here.”

“We’re almost there baby.”

Jensen slid his hand out, letting it rest on the small of Jared’s back.

“Baby,” He whispered in Jared’s ear, making him blush again. God, he was going to be the death of him.

 

 

“So Jensen, your dad told me that you were going stay here working with him?” Jared’s dad asked, walking next to Jensen.

“Yes sir. The ranch has been in my family since forever. My grandparents gave it to my parents and I couldn’t imagine myself leaving it.”

“That’s nice. I wish my sons were taking over my company, but none of them want to.”

Jared rolled his eyes, pretending not to hear his dad and focusing instead on his feet.

“Well, we’ve all got different dreams.”

“Of course. Eric wants to be a professional football player. He’s the best in his school. God you should see him, it’s like he was born to do it.”

“And Jared?”

“Jared is into math and all the book learning stuff.” Tom waved vaguely, before returning his attention to his older son. “But you know Eric wasn’t accepted into university because of his grades. How stupid is it? He’s playing sports, who cares about his grades? Certainly not me.”

As what always happened when he talked about Eric, Tom went on a long monologue about how amazing and special his eldest son was; how he would change the world one day. Nothing new for Jared, and incredibly boring for Jensen.

“Hey,” Jensen mumbled, bumping shoulders with Jared. “Are you ok?”

“Of course I am. You?”

“Well, I’m bored but that’s ok,” Jensen whispered, even though Jared’s family was in another section of the store and couldn’t hear them. “I was wondering about earlier. I didn’t overstep, did I?”

“Earlier?” Jared asked, frowning.

“When we were in the car.”

“Oh.”

Both boys let out a little smirk, the memories flashing in their mind.

“No, you didn’t, not at all. That was fun.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Jensen smirked before sliding his arm around Jared, holding him from behind. It was nice to feel Jensen’s presence behind him, and he couldn’t help but close his eyes, letting out a long breath.

“They could see us,” Jared whispered as Jensen started to kiss his neck. “My dad actually likes you. You don’t want to ruin that.”

“It’s a shame I don’t like him at all then.”

Jared didn’t answer, letting Jensen kiss his neck more. He didn’t really care if his family found out or not. Or maybe he wanted them to find out, so they can see that yes Jensen wanted him; that he wasn’t as weird or useless as they thought he was.

“You think he’d be mad? If he saw us together?”

“Yes,” Jared answered sincerely. “But not as much as you’d think. He’d be pissed, but he wouldn’t do anything physical. It doesn’t happen that often.”

“And mentally?”

“When he knows that you love something or someone, he’ll use it against you. So if he knows I like you, he will use you every time he gets angry. But that’s ok, it’s not that bad.”

Jensen tightened his arms around Jared as if just his arms alone could protect him. Jared put his hands on top of his, reassuring him. He could imagine how Jensen felt; knowing that someone you loved was getting hurt was sometimes worse than getting hurt yourself. When his dad beat his mom, he found himself more than once wishing he was in her place. Jensen probably saw his mom in the same situation, and now his boyfriend was living through the same thing. Jared wished he wasn’t making Jensen live through that again. 

“You mentioned a big wheel, right?”

Jensen cleared his throat, his arms releasing their tight grip before taking Jared’s hand in his.

“Yeah, but we should go see how your family is doing first.”

Jensen tried to let go of Jared’s hand but the other man held on tight. He wouldn’t let his dad steal the few days he had left with Jensen.

“Are you sure about this, Jay?”

“I’ve never been surer about anything in my life.” For the first time that day, Jared kissed Jensen, not giving a care about anyone else but them.

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

“Please, calm down,” Jared’s mother begged, holding onto her husband’s arm.

  
“Calm down?! Your son is acting like a fucking faggot, whoring himself in front of everyone! And you want me to calm down?!” His dad yelled, face red with anger. 

  
They were in the parking lot, Melodie locked in the car with their mom’s phone, as if it could prevent her from hearing what was happening. Eric was standing behind their dad, ready to intervene if he needed too, secretly hoping that he’d have to.

Jared could remember a time when his brother used to be as scared as he was of their dad; when they would hide in the closet together, Eric holding him close to his chest, protecting him from what might come.

They used to share a bed when It was too much, when their dad had been too angry.

Now, Eric’s arms are folded tight across his chest, looking more than ever like their dad.

“I’m not whoring myself. Jensen is my boyfriend,” He said calmly, knowing that Jensen was by his side. “I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“You didn’t …” His father repeated, jaw clenched. “Get in the car. Now.”

“No, dad, I—”

“I said get in the fucking car. Now!” He got closer to Jared until they were standing nose to nose.

They were standing so close that Jared could see how dark his eyes were, the sweat that beaded on his forehead, and how his whole body shook with anger. He swallowed hard, not sure if he should get in the car or run as far away as he can.

He didn’t have time to answer because Jensen pulled him behind him until he was the one facing Jared’s dad.

“Jared isn’t going in that car.”

If Jared didn’t know Jensen like he did, he would have been scared of him. His voice was hard and he was staring directly into Jared’s dad’s eyes, as if he was daring him to even say something.

“He’s my son; I get to decide where he goes.”

“No. He gets to decide where he goes. And right now he doesn’t want to go with you. And I sure as hell won’t let you touch him.”

They stared at each other for a long moment, as if they were two wolves fighting for authority. He could almost see Jensen jumping at his dad’s throat and killing him.

“Martha, in the car.” His dad finally said before turning towards his wife when she still hadn’t moved. “Did I stutter? In the car, now.”

Eric pushed past them, shoving Jared with his shoulder while being careful not to let Jensen see it.

They left the parking lot without another look or word. Jensen’s alpha attitude dropped as soon as they were out of sight, and he was taking Jared in his arms before he could even react.

“I’m sorry, fuck, I’m so sorry. Are you ok?” He asked, holding Jared’s face between his hands. “I couldn’t let him, Jay. I … fuck. I shouldn’t have done anything, should I?”

“I…” Jared’s whole body shook with emotions.

There was too much going on in his mind for him to think clearly. He was glad Jensen rescued him. He was glad he wasn’t with his dad, but he was afraid of what would happen to his mom tonight; and even if he hated himself for admitting it, he was afraid of Jensen right now.

He saw the look in his eyes, how ready he was to hurt his dad. Was he always like that when he got angry? What if he was angry at Jared for some reason? He refused to end up in the same situation as his mother.

“I scared you,” Jensen whispered, his hands releasing Jared’s face.

Jared never saw anyone look so guilty, and he wanted to tell no; wanted it more than anything, but it would be a lie.

“Yes,” He said honestly. “I’m sorry Jen, but you looked … so scary. I thought you were gonna kill him.”

“I would have.” It’s barely audible, but Jared heard it anyway and a wave of chills chased across his skin. “If he had touched or hurt you in any way I would have. Because he deserves too. But Jay, I would never hurt you. I … when I was little, I kept seeing those guys hit my mom and I promised myself that I wouldn’t let someone do that to anyone again. It was like I was back there. You were so vulnerable, and he was … he was going to hit you. What I was supposed to do? I can’t lose you.” Jensen licked his lips, tears running down his face. “I can’t lose you, Jay. I lost my mom because I couldn’t stand up. I won’t make the same mistake twice.”

“But I’m not your mom, Jensen. I’m not saying that you can’t protect me. I’m just saying that saving me won’t bring her back, and killing my dad won’t make any difference. It would make you just like him.”

“So, what am I supposed to do?” Jensen asked, his voice shaking. “Watch him hit you? Leave you alone with him? I … fuck, Jared, I don’t know what I was supposed to do.”

“You did the right thing, but it doesn’t mean that you should hurt him, even if you want to. You asked me if I was scared, and I gave you an honest answer. You can’t blame me for that.”

Jensen didn’t answer, chewing on his bottom lip with his arms crossed against his chest. He looked angry and upset, but somehow ashamed too.

Jared sighed, moving closer to Jensen before wrapping his arms around him. Jensen didn’t move at first, but slowly Jared could feel his body slowly relaxing, until he returned the hug, his face hidden in Jared’s hair. He cried, hot tears wetting Jared’s neck, and Jared simply held him closer.

“I’m sorry,” Jensen whispered. “I’m so sorry. I … I didn’t want to scare you. I’m just sorry.”

“I know, it’s ok.”

They stayed like that for a long time, standing in the middle of the parking lot wrapped around each other. Jensen stopped crying a while ago, but neither of them made a move to separate.

“We should call JD,” Jared said, caressing Jensen’s back. “We need to get home.”

Jensen nodded, slowly pushing himself away from Jared before calling his dad. Jared could hear JD asking him what happened through the phone, but Jensen simply told him that he would explain it later.

The ride home was nothing like earlier. Instead of the small conversation, there was a deadly silence reigning in the car. Jensen sat as far away from Jared that the old truck allowed him to, and Jared wondered if this was it, if this was already the end of their relationship. He didn’t want it to be, but Jensen couldn’t even look at him now, and he’s not sure that he ever could.

“Where’s Jared sleeping?” JD asked, almost as tense as the boys.

“Home?” Jensen asked, looking at Jared with pleading eyes.

“Home,” Jared whispered, putting his hand on Jensen’s where it was resting on his leg.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted this chapter with my phone so I hope it's ok. The next chapter will be post pretty soon too ;)   
> Tell me what you think of it !


	11. Chapter 11

“We can sleep in different beds, if you want,” Jensen said, standing awkwardly at the foot of his bed.

“No, that’s ok.” Jared tried very hard not to show how stressed he was, but his legs kept shaking and his hands were damp with sweat.

They were alone for the first time since they got back three hours ago. JD insisted that they eat with him, before taking Jensen outside so they could talk. They both came back with swollen eyes and to Jared’s surprise JD took him in his arms, holding him close to his chest.

“We can drive you back to your place, if you’d rather.”

Jensen’s words were like a punch in Jared’s stomach. He wasn’t sure if Jensen was asking him to go or if he was just offering him a way out.

“No, I want to stay here, if you’re ok with it.”

“Yeah, of course.”

They stand awkwardly in front of each other for what felt like forever before Jensen finally moved, sliding under the covers. Jared did the same, laying on the far edge of the bed.

Maybe he should have gone home. His dad would have been angry, more than angry even, but at least he wouldn’t have to bother Jensen.

He wondered what was happening at home. It was a coward move to go with Jensen instead of facing the consequences of what he did.

“Jensen?” He whispered, not wanting to wake him up if he was already asleep.

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry … about earlier. I knew my dad would be pissed if he saw us, but I did it anyway so … yeah, sorry.” He moved until he was facing Jensen’s back.

“I knew he’d be pissed too, but it shouldn’t stop us. We can do whatever we want to do, right?”

“Yeah, I just,” Jared sighed. “I ruined everything, didn’t I?”

Jensen turned himself around so he was facing Jared. Even in the dark, Jared could feel his eyes on him, and he wanted so much to reach and touch his face. He wished they could go back to the start, when it was just the two of them in a forest; in the middle of nowhere.

“No, of course not,” Jensen said, moving his hand towards the center of the bed.

It was a silent invitation, and Jared accepted it gladly. He moved his hand too, until they were meeting, their fingers brushing against each other gently.

“I … You reacted properly. I just got scared and I know I shouldn’t- “

“Of course, you should.” Jensen cut him off. “You should get scared, because you didn’t know what I had in mind. I mean, if I can get angry like that against your dad, what’s stopping me for being angry like that at you?”

Jensen sighed, moving closer until their faces were only a few inches away.  “I don’t want you to be scared of me. But I do want you to be careful. I would never hurt you, but someone else might. If you get with another guy one day; I don’t want you to trust him blindly and end up getting hurt.”

“What do you mean another guy?” Jared frowned.

“I’m not breaking up with you,” Jensen said, and Jared could hear the smile in his voice “But there are a lot of chances that we won’t get to spend the rest of our lives together. So, you might meet other guys, and maybe some of them won’t be nice. I reacted like that because it was killing me that you thought I would maybe hurt you. Being like your dad? That’s the worst thing that could ever happen to me. But I … It wasn’t your fault, and I shouldn’t have reacted like that.”

Jared moved closer until his head was resting against Jensen’s chest; where he could hear his heart beating. He knew what Jensen was saying, knew that he was right, but he didn’t want to think about being with any other guys. He didn’t want to think that Jensen wouldn’t be there, not forever anyway.

“I saw her, you know,” Jensen whispered.

“Who?”

Jensen didn’t answer, but instead put one of his arms around Jared, dragging him closer to his chest. His heart was beating like crazy and Jared could hear it, but he stayed silent.

“My mom. When she died, I saw her.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No. Yes. I… I never told this to anyone except JD, and that wasn’t until years after it happened. Even the police don’t know the whole story. I just told them the name and that was it. I said I couldn’t remember.”

“You don’t have to tell me if you’re not ready.”

“I want to tell you. Because as crazy as it sounds, I trust you a lot.” Jensen swallowed hard. “My mom had a lot of boyfriends. Bad boyfriends. But there was this guy, Chris. He was … He was meaner than the others. He was always beating her, insulting her, and she wouldn’t say anything. But one day, he started hitting me and my mom … fuck, she got crazy. She was yelling and screaming at him; I think she even tried to hit him. She took all his clothes and threw them away, then she told him to never come back again.

He hit her. Really hard. She ended up in the hospital and that’s when she and JD started dating. I though it was over, you know? I thought that we would never have to deal with my mom getting hit again. I mean, JD has always been there, but now I know he was protecting us. My mom had never been so happy. And then one day when we were at the mall, I was in the car and my mom was putting the groceries in the trunk, when I heard her scream. I was playing with one of my toys and I didn’t see him coming. Chris was there, and he was…” Jensen paused, closing his eyes against the memory. “There was so much blood. I never saw so much blood before. I tried to get out of the car, but it was locked and I just … I watched her die. I don’t know what I did then; I think I screamed, I probably did, but all I remember is her face and the blood. I should have found a way to get out of the car. Maybe if I had, she would still be here.”

Jensen was crying, his whole body shaking with waves of tears, and so was Jared.

He couldn’t even imagine how traumatic it must have been for Jensen. He remembered the first time he saw his dad hitting his mom. He cried so hard then that it became hard to breathe and in the days that followed, he had nightmares and panic attacks.

“It wasn’t your fault, Jensen. If you had gotten out of the car, he would have killed you too.”

“But I would have been with her,” Jensen whispered, holding Jared closer.

“She wouldn’t have wanted that, and you know it. She would be so proud of the man you’ve become Jensen. You’re amazing. You’re kind, funny, smart and beautiful. Everything she would have wanted you to be. You can’t feel guilty for something that wasn’t your fault.”

Jensen didn’t answer, not that Jared expected him to. It was getting darker in the room, the light from the moon fading away slowly. Their breathing was the only sound in the room, Jensen’s chest rising against Jared’s head. He wished they could stay like that forever, with no one to hurt them.

“Jensen?”

“Yeah?”

“I think I love you,” Jared whispered, moving his head back onto the pillow so he could see Jensen’s face.

“You think?” Jensen teased, wiping the tears from his face.

“No, I know,” Jared said, his lips brushing against Jensen’s. “I love you.”

Jensen captured Jared’s lips with his own, kissing him slowly until they couldn’t breathe. It wasn’t a hot kiss, or a deep one, but it was one of the most powerful they’d ever shared.

“I love you too, city boy.”

Jared laughed slowly before kissing Jensen again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your comments, I really love reading them !  
> Here's another chapter ! Hope you like it


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning : Smut in this chapter. Just, pur smut, during the whole thing.  
> Enjoy !

Jared wiped the sweat from his forehead, the sun beating down hard on him. If the Jared from three weeks ago could see him now, he would probably think that someone had drugged him. How he went from reading books in the house all day to actually working in the grass, he’d never know.

Well he did know actually. It was all thanks to Jensen.

Jensen who, even if he seemed to have forgotten it at first, had a lot of duties to do around the ranch. The deal was simple: if Jared helped him, then they finished early and JD let them have the house to themselves. That meant more time together, and gave them more time to explore each other’s bodies.

There was only one week of holiday left, and Jared was going to make the most of it, including having actual sex with his boyfriend.

“Working hard babe?” Jensen asked, walking towards Jared.

“Yeah, I’m almost done. You?”

Jensen walked closer, pressing his chest against Jared’s back, his hand sliding under his shirt. “Completely done.”

Jared shivered when his boyfriend started playing with his nipples, rubbing them between his fingers.

“Home,” Jared moaned, grinding his ass against Jensen’s hard on. “Please.”

“Fuck,” Jensen groaned. He grabbed the rake from Jared’s hand and tossed it to the ground.

They ran to the house, still holding hands and stopping at regular intervals to kiss or grope the other.

When they finally entered Jensen’s room, they were almost naked except for their boxers, which they quickly stripped off.

Seeing Jensen naked was something Jared would never get tired of. Under the many layers of clothes he wore, Jensen was perfect. His pale skin made his freckles stand out even more, the work he did around the ranch giving him a defined stomach and arms. Jared had seen dicks before of course, whether it was his own, his brother’s, the boys at school or the men in x-rated magazines. But it would be the first time he’s seen one hard that wasn’t his own and it was quite impressive.

“You’re gonna stare all day?” Jensen asked with raised eyebrows.

“Maybe,” He laid on the bed, admiring Jensen’s body. “There’s a lot to look at.”

“Well, there’s even more to touch.”

Jared laughed, opening his arms so Jensen could come between them. He does so without any problems, bringing their cocks together. The little touch was enough to make Jared moan, his chest rising against Jensen’s.

“God, you’re beautiful,” Jensen whispered in his ear, biting his lobe. “So freaking beautiful.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Jensen grabbed the lube from the nightstand before drizzling some on his fingers. Jared spread his legs to give him more access, and soon he felt a finger pressing against his rim. They’ve done this part before plenty of times, but Jensen still took his time, teasing Jared until he was a quivering mess, begging for more.

“Jensen, fuck, come on!”

“Nah, I’m having a good time here,” Jensen said, moving his fingers against Jared’s prostate.

Jared scratched his nails down Jensen’s back and this time, it was Jensen who moaned, burying his face in the crook of Jared’s neck.

“Where do you want to stop?”

“What?”

“Stop. Where do you want us to stop?” Jensen asked again, his forehead pressed against his.

“I-I don’t…”

They looked at each other for a long time, Jensen’s fingers still inside Jared. In other circumstances Jared would have waited a few months before doing this, but they didn’t have time. And even if they did, he wasn’t sure he would be able to wait. He wanted this; wanted this for a long time, or it seemed like a long time anyway.

Jensen wasn’t a virgin, unlike him, and he thought maybe it was a good thing. At least one of them knew what they were doing.

“So, uh, do you wanna top or …?” Jensen asked, looking a little awkward.

“N-No, the- The other way,” Jared said, his cheeks burning with embarrassment. He couldn’t help but smile when Jensen proposed for him to top. He never did that with the previous boys he was with.

“Sounds good to me.”

Jensen kissed the top of his nose before sliding to his mouth, kissing him deeply. Jared opened his mouth to give him more access while he wrapped his legs around his waist, grinding their erections against one another.

Jensen slid his finger back in, before quickly adding another one. He moved them in and out slowly, while kissing and sucking Jared’s neck.

Two fingers became three and soon, Jensen’s fingers brushed against that bundle of nerves, crooking his fingers just the right way to apply more pressure without it being too much.

“Oh fuck, Jensen!” Jared moaned, trying to get Jensen closer. “More, come on.”

Jensen chuckled before kissing Jared again. He took his fingers out slowly, before caressing Jared’s hair. He looked in Jared’s eyes and found so much love and trust, that Jared was close to crying.

“If it becomes too much, tell me and we’ll stop.”

Jared nodded, watching as Jensen rolled the condom over his cock before positioning himself between Jared’s legs.

Jared took a deep breath as Jensen started pressing against his entrance. It burned a little, but not as much as he expected. Jensen kept kissing him, whether it was on his mouth, his neck or his face, while one of his hands stroked his dick slowly.

“Mmm you’re so tight, Jay,” Jensen whispered, pushing a little harder. “You’re ok?”

Jared nodded. “Yeah, keep going.”

Jensen did as he was told; only stopping from time to time to let Jared’s body adjust to the intrusion, until he was fully seated inside of him.

Jared had never felt so full in his entire life, and he threw his arms around Jensen’s neck, bringing their mouths back together.

“You can move,” He said, kissing Jensen one last time.

“Alright, let’s do it cowboy.” Jensen laughed at his own joke, which only made Jared roll his eyes.  He started moving slowly, making sure that he wasn’t hurting Jared.

Jared closed his eyes with pleasure, his own dick trapped between their bodies and getting friction from Jensen’s movement.

“Come on, Jen, I’m not gonna break,” Jared said, panting.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t. I promise.” He smiled at Jensen. “Now do it good or don’t do it at all.”

Jensen smirked before moving with more strength, going deeper and faster than before. Jared couldn’t hold back the moans that came out of his mouth and soon he was screaming Jensen’s name.

Jensen changed the angle of his thrusts, pounding against Jared’s prostate and he was too far gone to care about anything else.

“Jen, I’m- Fuck- I’m gonna come!” He yelled, scratching Jensen’s back.

“Do it,” Jensen growled, taking the other man’s dick in his hand.

Between Jensen’s thrusts and the hand on his cock, Jared came, screaming Jensen’s name to the heavens.

His orgasm made him tighten like a vice around Jensen, and a few more powerful thrusts later had Jensen coming with a groan, collapsing on top of Jared.

“Fuck,” Jensen groaned.  “Are you ok?”

“I don’t think I ever been better, Jen.”

The two laughed at Jared’s enthusiasm before falling into a comfortable silence. Jensen slowly pulled out of Jared before cleaning them both up with a dirty shirt. Jared tried to hide his embarrassment at having Jensen cleaning him _there,_ but Jensen didn’t seem to care one bit.

He lay down next to Jared after he was done, dragging him to lay his head on his chest.

“Thank you” Jensen whispered.

“What for?”

“Everything.”

Jared smiled before kissing Jensen softly. If someone was meant to be thanked, it would be Jensen more than him.


	13. Chapter 13

“Jensen?” JD asked from behind the closed door. “Can I come in or are you guys naked?”

“Dad!” Jensen gasped in fake shock, lifting his head from where it was buried in Jared’s ass.

Jared blushed hard, shoving his face into a pillow. They’d been careful not to be too loud, and he thought they were doing a pretty good job at it. Apparently he was wrong.

“I can hear the bed hitting the wall from downstairs, you dumbass” JD laughed, which only made Jared blushed harder. “I need to talk to your boy for a moment.”

“Can’t it wait? We were kind of in the middle of something.”

“No, it can’t.”

Jensen sighed, kissing the inside of Jared’s thigh one last time. They threw clothes on quickly before opening the door. JD had a big, wide smile on his face, and Jensen rolled his eyes but not without a little smirk.

“Sorry to interrupt you, but your mother stopped by to tell me that you need to come home.”

The light mood that had filled the house seconds ago completely disappeared, and Jensen put his arms around Jared.

“He’s not going home.”

“Jensen- “

“No, dad, he can stay here. Didn’t you tell her?”

“Jensen, it’s not about going back to the cabin.”

“It’s about going home to our house,” Jared finished, his throat tightening with unshed tears.

JD gave him a sad smile before nodding.

They were so caught in their budding relationship that they forgot the deadline was getting closer. They’d been here for weeks now, and while Jared had wanted to leave from the moment he stepped foot on the ranch, now he would do anything to go back to the beginning.

“No,” Jensen said, as if it was enough to make everything change. “I don’t … I don’t want you to go.”

“We don’t really have a choice here.”

Jensen licked his lips, looking at his dad then back at Jared, as if he was considering what he should say next.

“Stay with us here.”

“What?”

“Move with us. We’ve got room. You could work here, and you could apply to college online, or I could drag you to school every morning.”

“Jensen- “

“You’ve got an impressive fill; any university would want you. It wouldn’t be hard to get into an online one. And if you wanted to go to a real school, then you could. I mean, you could fly back home every weekend.”

“It would be pointless, and you know it.” JD sighed. “He won’t have time to study if you do this. And what if you break up? He’d be left with nothing. He’s still young, Jensen, you can’t- “

“Why are you saying this?” Jensen asked, his expression full of anger. “This isn’t about you! It’s between Jared and me!”

“Because I’m your father!”

“Then be on my side!”

“It’s not about being on someone’s side, and you know it. I can’t let you ruin Jared’s life or yours by making a bad, heat of the moment decision. This is unrealistic, and you know it. You still can talk and see each other during holidays.”

“Yes, but- “

“Jensen, just… Just enjoy your last day together alright?” JD walked away, leaving them alone again.

“Jay, if you want to stay, I swear I can make it work.”

“Can we go for a walk in the forest again?” Jared asked, putting his arms around Jensen’s waist. “I really want to go there one last time.”

Jensen frowned, looking at Jared for some kind of explanation but nodded anyway. They quickly put their things back together before heading out to the woods. Jensen ignored JD when he told them to be careful, and Jared couldn’t help but feel guilty for the man. He didn’t do anything wrong, except be realistic.

They took Butterflies, Jared holding onto Jensen as tight as he could, even if he was perfectly able to ride alone now.

They didn’t talk, but it didn’t really matter. They were both stuck in their own thoughts, too far gone to care about what was happening around them.

Jared hadn’t seen his parents since the incident, and he was less than thrilled to see them again. He didn’t want to let Jensen go. He couldn’t even imagine how he’d be able to go back to the way things were before.

He used to have everything planned, from the hour which he woke up to the time he needed to spend in the shower. Now, he wasn’t sure of anything, not even if he wanted to go to college or not.

He wished they could stay there forever, just the two of them riding with no one else around. He wanted so badly to stay, but he knew that he shouldn’t. He dreamt of going to college since he was old enough to remember and now that his dream was becoming true, he couldn’t walk past it.

“Here is good?” Jensen asked, stopping Butterflies in front of a tree.

“Yeah, this is good.”

Jared got down first and took the time to admire the forest.

It was funny, how everything seemed so calm. There were thousands of different species living here all together, and yet he could only see insects. He wouldn’t see a wolf today, see a wild horse, but maybe if he stayed long enough without moving, he’d become a part of nature and he wouldn’t be an outsider anymore.

Jensen laid a blanket on the ground and let Jared sit next to him. It looked so much like their first date, but everything was different. _They_ were different. It wasn’t a bad thing, far from it, but Jared was feeling a little nostalgic.

He leaned his head on Jensen’s shoulder while Jensen grabbed his hands, playing with his fingers.

“I don’t want you to leave,” Jensen whispered.

“I don’t want to either. But I don’t want to throw my life away.”

“You wouldn’t be throwing your life away. I’m here.”

“Yeah, but you’re the one who kept saying that it wouldn’t last forever. That we wouldn’t last forever,” Jared said, his throat tightening.

“Yes, but I want it to! I want to grow old with you and all the shit I said I would never want. You … you made me feel things I’ve never felt before, and I can’t … I don’t want to lose you.”

“We can still talk. People have long distant relationships all the time.”

“And how many of them have worked out? Hell, even if we tried, I barely have any connection here. We wouldn’t be able to talk as much as we want to; we wouldn’t be able to see each other.”

“Then come with me!”

“I can’t,” Jensen said, dropping his head. “I can’t leave JD, or my grandparents. All my life is here, and they need me. My mom … My mom is buried here. I can’t leave that. I’m not made for the city Jay…”

“You could be, if you wanted to.”

“What would I do? Work in a coffee shop? That shit isn’t for me.”

“So, I should drop everything for you, but you won’t do it for me?” Jared asked, anger rising through his voice.

“Because you can adapt! I can’t!” Jensen yelled, letting go of Jared’s hand.

“But this is my dream, Jensen! All I’ve ever thought about was this, and now you want to take it away from me!”

“No! I want you! That’s all I want Jay.”

“I can’t give you that,” Jared whispered, a tear rolling down his cheek. “I can’t … I can’t. As much I want it too, I just can’t …”

Jensen nodded; he wasn’t going to cry. “So it’s over then?” He asked, his throat tight.

“I … I don’t know,” Jared confessed, his heart shattering into millions of pieces. It hurt; everything hurt, but what else could they do?

Jensen lifted his head before taking Jared’s face in his hands and kissing him with everything he had. Tears streamed down both of their faces, but they didn’t care. It was their last moment together, and they wanted to make most of it.

“I love you,” Jensen whispered, his forehead against Jared’s. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, always. I promise.”


	14. Chapter 14

“Jared, do you have everything?” His dad asked, throwing the last bag in the car. 

“Yes dad.” 

They  had  just finish ed packing everything, from the clothes  they brought  to the souvenirs they bought. 

To his surprise, his dad decided to act like nothing  had  happened. He didn’t mention Jensen, didn’t mention their fight or the fact that Jared  spent  the whole week at Jensen’s place. 

He kn ew he should be grateful not to have to deal with the consequences, but it also gave him the feeling that nothing happened. That  he and  Jensen didn’t happen, that no one  stood up  against his dad, and most of all, that nothing  about him had  changed. 

They  we re  finally  ready to go. His sister  was  already in the car while his mom put everything they’d need during the trip in front of her. 

JD  came  to take the keys back and Jared ’s stomach formed a knot when he saw that Jensen wasn’t there. They agreed that it would be better if he didn’t come to say goodbye, and while it  seemed  like a good idea at that time, now it  felt like the  stupidest  decision they ever  made . 

“ I h ope you enjoy ed your  stay  here,” JD said, taking the keys back from Jared’s dad’s hands. 

“Most of it.” 

“Can we  expect  to see you next year?” 

“No, I don’t think so,” His dad was awfully polite, probably afraid of what JD w ould do if he dared to speak louder than that. 

“Well, that’s a shame,” JD turned towards Jared, smiling sadly. It wasn’t surprising. He must look like shit, his eyes red and swollen from the lack of sleep and the crying, and he was wearing a hoodie that he stole  from  Jensen yesterday.“If you want to come back, you’ll always be welcome here. No matter what, alright?” 

“Thanks JD.” 

JD  pulled  him to his chest to give him another one of his bear hugs and Jared held his tears at  bay as  much as he c ould . 

“If you have any problems, with your dad or anyone else, you call me and I’ll be there  ASAP. ” He whispered in his ear. “Promise me that you’ll call if you need someone.” 

“I promise,” Jared whispered back. “Thank you.” 

“No problem, son.” 

Jared’s dad was fuming next to them but didn’t interrupt their moment. Jared wasn’t sure, but he thinks that JD went to see his dad after their fight, judging by the way his dad  wa s acting and how  nervous he looked . 

It  wouldn’t last of course, but it’s enjoyable. 

“Let’s get out of here,” Eric said, sitting in the car. 

Jared was about to do the same when he heard someone calling his name. He didn’t have to turn around to know that it was Jensen. 

“ I thought w e said we  wouldn’t say goodbye?” He asked, his voice shaking.

“Yeah,  and  what a freaking good idea  that was. ” Jensen roll ed his eyes which made Jared laugh.

He  wasn’t sure what to do but he didn’t have to, because Jensen  pulled  him  tight to his chest , holding him as close as possible. 

“Call me, sometimes.” 

“Every day,” Jared promised. 

“Until it fades away,” Jensen said, caressing Jared’s hair.

“ And i f it doesn’t?” 

“It will.” 

Jensen hugged him again, strongly this time, and Jared was pretty sure that they could just melt into each other. 

“I love you so much, Jensen. You have no idea. You taught me so much and you … you made me want to  keep on living. ” 

“Come back,” Jensen whispered “One day, whenever it is, just come back to me, one last time.” 

Jared nod ded , the tears close to  falling . 

Jensen kissed him, a sweet and long kiss until the y were both panting  for  air. It was their last kiss, they both knew it, and they wouldn’t break it until  absolutely  necessary. 

“Goodbye, city boy.” 

“Goodbye Jensen.” 

Jared walked to the car, his heart pounding with sadness and regret. He wanted to go back with Jensen; he couldn’t leave him, not now, not ever. 

“The best memories never leave us Jay, except if they’re replaced by better ones.”

He couldn’t stay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, hope you still love it !  
> I'll post the epilogue tonight or tomorrow


	15. Chapter 15

Alright guys, so this will be your house for the next few weeks. There’s electricity and heating, of course. If you need something, my dad and I are  in the house  next to you rs . You can come  by  at any time, and for anything,” Jensen said, giving the keys of the house to the mother. 

“Do you have horses?” 

“Yes, we do. If you want, I could show you around.” 

“Yes! I want to see horses!” One of the little girls s houted , jumping with excitement.

“If  you’re good , I can even teach you how to ride.” Jensen winked, and the little girl got even more excited.

The parents thank ed him before walking inside the house  with their kids . 

It’s been six months since Jared left. Six  long,  awful months. 

There wasn’t a day  that went by that  he didn’t  think  about him.  There w asn’t a day where he didn’t cry, thinking about  all the things he should have said  and the things he should have done. 

He threw himself into  his  work to forget,  to try to put something else in his mind. 

He rebuilt most of the cabins, and planned on doing the rest pretty soon.  They  still  kept the western style of course, but  they were  much more comfortable and prettier. 

He and  Jared stopped talking three months ago. It was predictable, no matter what Jared said. You always get tired of things. They were from two different worlds  and it was over before it even started. 

“Jensen, there’s a new client for you,” JD said, putting his hat back in place.

“Which house?” 

“Number 4.” 

“I told them to come tomorrow” Jensen sighed, walking  towards  the  front  of the ranch.

There’s a car, but the woman has h er head  buried  the trunk.

“Hi, I’m Jensen. You  must be Marta Smith, right?” 

“Do I look like a woman to you?” 

Jensen paused as soon as he heard the voice, sure that his mind was playing tricks on him. But then he saw him, the same dimples and blue eyes that made him fall in love in what seemed like a lifetime ago. 

“Jared.” 

“Hi,” Jared looked uncomfortable, but he couldn’t stop smiling.

“What are you doing here?” Jensen ’s voice  wa s cold, and maybe Jared doesn’t deserve it, or maybe he does.  It d oesn’t matter anyway. 

“Well, I … I thought I could come back. You know,  get some  fresh air and everything.”

“What about college?” 

“It’s holiday  break. ”

“Your parents?”

“I don’t… I don’t speak to them anymore” Jared says, bouncing awkwardly from one feet to the other

“Sorry about that”

“It’s for the best, you know?”

“Yeah, it is”

Jared throws him a bright smile and god, Jensen wishes he could just say fuck it and kisses him. But he won’t fall from him, not again.

“What are you doing here, Jared?”

“I just… Wanted to spend a few days here?”

“So, you’re leaving  soon, ” Jensen said  in a matter of fact  tone.

“Well actually, no. I kind of  hoped my boyfriend  would beg me to stay, and then we could live  happily ever after and all that.” Jared laughed awkwardly, “If he still wanted me, of course.”

“What about your dream?” 

“I think … I think there’s  more than  one way to realize a dream, you know? Maybe we can mix our two dreams together?” 

Jensen’s heart was beating so strongly in his chest that he was afraid it  would stop . 

“How?” 

“Do you know about Demetrer?” 

“No?” 

“She was a God dess and she had a daughter. But her daughter got kidnapped, and she made a deal with her daughter’s new husband. Six months of the year, she could stay with him, and the next six months, she would be with her mother.” 

“And?” 

“Well, I thought  maybe we could do the same thing,” Jared  suggested , looking hopefully at Jensen. “From September to March, you could be  at college with  me, and then from April to September we  could  be here.” 

“Jay …” 

“I found you a job. It’s in a garage, and you said you loved cars. Maybe you could even take some classes with me, in buisness or marketing. I mean, you’re getting pretty popular you know?” Jared laughed again, and this time, Jensen couldn’t help but smile. “I sign ed myself  up for  a program, so I can study from here. I’d just have to fly back for my exams, but other than that I could stay here. Your dad is ok with it.” 

“You already got everything figured it out, don’t you, city boy?” 

Jared smiled at the nickname, and Jensen closed the distance between them until they were standing  face to face . 

“You know that Demetrer and her daughter were miserable for half of the year, right?”

“Yeah, because they weren’t together. We’ll be together all year, every single year.”

“Damn right we  wi ll” Jensen said, finally kissing Jared

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so here the epilogue,  
> I hope you all loved this story as much as I did, and I can't thank you enough for all the sweet comments you left.  
> I really loved those characters and was glad to see you loving them too !


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